Have you ever read a few funny dirty love poems once in awhile? They’ll make you blush. Don’t worry – while our poems are “dirty” we have kept them PG-Rated because while we are okay with writing poems that use offensive or provocative language and totally think it is okay because poems are meant to express whatever it is that you are thinking, it’s just not our style to be a little too extreme, especially in matters like this. Not to mention, if we’re not careful, we might make people mad.
And while usually sometimes we don’t really care if we make someone mad with our poetry, we simply just don’t wish to publish that kind of stuff here because on the internet you really don’t ever know who will read it. And so, since we have no control over what age people are who will come to our site, we feel it is best to be very PC and family friendly. We don’t write or publish anything on this site that we would be horrified to find out our kids or our grandma read.
So, that’s why these poems are kind of funny, because they’re not dirty like you’re probably hoping for – they’re dirty in the sense of dirt, like the earth we stand upon. Hey, we’re trying to be creative here.
Mud Bath
You tell me
you want to do
something dirty
something naughty
something crazy
so we go outside
and jump in muddy puddles.
You Need a Bar of Soap
Honey, I do love you,
you know that.
I love you like roses love their petals
like cats love their naps
I love you like a bowl of soup
loves a spoon
But there’s something I noticed
and it’s kinda hard to tell you
but just remember how much i love you
while you’re reading my little poem.
I know you worked very hard today
and i’m sure you didn’t have time
for a shower
but honey,
you need a bar of soap.
Worms
In science class
we had to dissect worms
and it was really gross
the only way
i could get over it
was to think to myself
about you
and how you’re not gross
and hopefully
i will never have to dissect you.
If You Loved Me
If you loved me,
your dirty clothes
would go in the hamper
and not on the floor.
If you loved me,
you would put
away the ketchup
instead of leaving it on the table.
If you loved me,
you would do the dishes
you would vacuum
you would take out the trash
because while i love you
i’m not a maid.
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Yeah, sorry if these poems might have disappointed you, especially if you were looking for something that was really funny or maybe just something that would be a little more risque…but, it was fun to write them at least!
Do you have a funny dirty love poem? If you can keep it clean, try writing one in the comments section below!